


One Last Perfect Day

by kenma_luvbot



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Breakup, Cheating, Depression, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nekoma, Sad, Sad Kozume Kenma, Suicide, Suicide Notes, im so sorry, no happy ending, not really that graphic but i wanted to be extra sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25426921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenma_luvbot/pseuds/kenma_luvbot
Summary: Kenma knew something was wrong from the beginning. He knew that but he didn’t want to face the truth. He didn’t want to wake up to reality.“I love you Kuroo”“I love you too Kenma”“Will you stay with me forever”“I promise”What a useless promise.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 9
Kudos: 190





	One Last Perfect Day

Kenma knew something was wrong from the beginning. He knew that but he didn’t want to face the truth. He didn’t want to wake up to reality.

Kuroo thought Kenma never noticed it, he thought he could get away with it but he was wrong. 

Oh, how wrong he was.

“Kenma! I’m gonna go hang out with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Tsukki tonight so don’t stay up too late!” Kuroo announced to Kenma leaving before Kenma could answer. Kuroo was tired of Kenma’s blank expressions and felt as if he never cared about him. Kuroo was craving attention Kenma didn’t give him. 

Walking out the door he felt like he forgot something but he didn’t bother to think over it because he was going to finally have a fun night. He and Kenma over the past few months have grown apart and due to Kenmas job and him constantly looking tired.

On the train to Akaashi’s house, he felt as if he forgot something important  
  


He forgot it was Kenmas birthday

It was also their anniversary

It would also mark the day Kuroo proposed, back when they were happy.

-

_“I love you Kuroo”_

_“I love you too Kenma”_

_“Will you stay with me forever”_

_“I promise”_

_What a useless promise._

\- 

“It’s my fault”, Kenma said to the mirror, he thought that he had done something wrong. He never did anything wrong but he loved Kuroo so much that he didn’t want to admit the other had messed up. 

_Kenma woke up to quiet footsteps in his bedroom. It was Kuroo, he had snuck out and come home at one am, smelling like someone else. Hair more messy, clothes that weren’t his, and marks on his body._

That was four months ago, four months that Kenma knew Kuroo was cheating on him with his best friends.

“You’re too big, too quiet, too short, ugly, stupid, disgusting”, Kenmas inner voice said

He looked down at the ring on his hand and wanted to throw it but he couldn’t, he didn’t want to let go of the most beautiful thing in his life. The ring sat on top of his ring finger, Kuroo’s sat on top of his side table. He took it off when he thought he fell out of love with Kenma. The lust had blurred his judgment.

Kenma wanted to lie to himself and believe that Kuroo still loved him, but he so desperately wanted to force himself to believe that.

Leaving the bathroom he went into the kitchen and smiled sadly at the cold food. Kenma has prepared a dinner for him and Kuroo for his birthday, however it seemed as if Kuroo had forgotten.

Sitting on the table was an apple pie Kenma made, fish, and other foods Kenma made. On the chair next to him was a wedding planner, Kenma wanted to plan for a wedding he knew would never happen. 

You can only dream of impossible things.

\--

That night Kenma made a promise,

“I’ll let go of you soon but please let me have one last perfect day”, Kenma whispered into the sky.

\--

Ten minutes away, Kuroo was in another house.

In a bed that didn’t belong to him but his other lovers.

He did love Kenma but he had felt like Kenma cared more about his job than him, so he went to his friends for comfort.

He knew it was wrong, he knew he would have to break off the engagement or stop this but he couldn’t.

Lust had changed his judgment.

What a fool Kuroo was.

\--

The next morning Kenma woke up to Kuroo in bed next to him. Smiling he had begun to plan their perfect day,

His perfect day.

_I’ll let go of you, just let me have this last thing._

-

**_Guide to the best day!_ **

  * _Go to a cat cafe with Kuroo and play with the black cats that look like him_


  * _Walk by the river bank where he and Kuroo used to play volleyball_


  * _Visit that bring near the river where Kuroo proposed_


  * _Meet up with our old teammates for dinner (even with Lev)_


  * _Hold hands_


  * _Play a little at the internet cafe_


  * _Watch the stars and plan for the wedding that will never happen_


  * _Hug him for the last time_


  * _Kiss him for the last time_


  * _Tell him that you knew_


  * _Give him back his ring_


  * _Watch the sky one last time_



-

A few weeks later it was go time. 

That week he went to hang out with Shoyo one last time. Shoyo noticed something was up with him but he didn’t want to pressure Kenma to tell him because he believed that Kenma would tell him if something was bothering him.

Kenma wanted to have a good day with his best friend and so be brought him to all of his favorite places, they went to the Sky Tree, the arcade Kenma loved, then they snuck back into Nekoma Highschool to play volleyball one last time.

When they decided to part ways Shoyo got more concerned because Kenma looked different. He had sunken eyes, his hair was messier than usual, Kenma had a sad smile when he hugged him. That night Shoyo couldn’t sleep but he decided that he would tell Kuroo at the end of the week if Kenma was still like this.

He didn’t know that the end of the week was Kenmas’ deadline for his perfect day.

\--

On Friday Kenma woke up excited and jumped on top of Kuroo who was surprised at his actions but he felt happy to see him so excited. 

  
  


This was the Kenma he loved,

Oh how blind Kuroo was, his Kenma died when he cheated for the first time

This was just a shell of him.

“Wake up sleepyhead”, Kenma cooed into his hair smiling. 

_The pain would go away soon._

Chuckling lightly, Kuroo asked, “What’s today’s plan captain?”

“I made a list”, Kenma exclaimed, “But you can’t see it! It’s top-secret”

“Okay then kitten let me get dressed and we can go to the first place”, Kuroo kissed the top of Kenma's hair and got up.

_Kenma is different today, Kuroo thought. Lately, he realized that he did still love Kenma and decided to come clean, and then maybe things would go back to normal. Maybe even plan their wedding. Kuroo thought about what their wedding would be like, he knew that Kenma would want it to be a small wedding, basic but unique. Smiling Kuroo dreamed of a reality that would never come true._

“Kuro, hurry up”, Kenma told him from the living room pulling Kuroo out of his thoughts.

“Coming!”, Kuroo yelled back.

_Today will be the best day_

_\--_

They went to the cat cafe and found a calico cat with blond hair and brown spots. Kenma looked at the cat with soft eyes as Kuroo watched him with fond eyes. 

_Why did I fuck this up, Kuroo thought_

_The cat looks just like you Kenma,_

“Kenma, would you ever want to adopt a kitten?”, Kuroo asked

“Maybe one day, but I would want a cat like this one”, Kenma told him smiling fondly at the cat.

While Kenma went to the bathroom Kuroo asked one of the workers if the cat was up for adoption and it was. Smiling Kuroo applied and would wait for Kenma to sign it.

Stepping out of the bathroom Kenma went to pay and held Kuroo’s hand and led them to their next destination. Adoption papers stuffed inside his pocket which was fairly large for some reason.

“Let’s go to the river bank! We can buy a ball on our way there”, Kenma told Kuroo with a bright smile.

_You’re smiling but your eyes look empty, Kuroo noticed_

“Kenma wanted to play volleyball willingly,” Kuroo tilted his head wondering.

“Well I want today to be perfect,” Kenma explained with a bigger smile, “Now come on”

They bought a cheap volleyball on their way to the river bank and they played for a little bit until their old teammates texted them that they were on their way for dinner.

The restaurant followed the same path that they went on when they attended Nekoma, the same path brought them to the special bridge where Kuroo proposed. Smiling at the memory in his head Kenma wished that every day could be like this, happy and bright with Kuroos hand in his. However, life cannot be beautiful forever.

Kenma knew that more than anyone else

Dinner was fun and it was nice to see the team again. 

Lev was married to this girl he met in freshman year, Kai and Yaku got engaged, Yamamoto was dating a girl who confessed to him before their last day of high school. They seemed to be happy in life. Kenma was glad that he could leave them knowing that they will have a support system.

When they left the restaurant Kenma hugged them all one by one, even Lev, which was almost unheard of because Kenma wasn’t one to like touching. They all were concerned over how sunken Kenmas eyes have gotten, how his cheeks weren’t as full, how he only had two bites of his apple pie, they noticed how Kuroo wasn’t wearing their engagement ring and Kenma was fidgeting with his. No one wanted to ruin the moment so they decided they would tell Kuroo the next day. 

Kuroo never noticed this because these changes had been during the time Kuroo was there so he didn’t see how Kenma was slowly disappearing. 

“Kuro”, Kenma asked with a small voice, “Can we go to the mountains to watch the stars?” Kenma asked with sad eyes.

“Of course”, Kuroo said, taking Kenmas hand in his.

They went to the train station that they were at all of the time back in highschool.

“This reminds me of back when we were teens”, Kuroo said softly remembering how nice it was back then.

Kenma just held his hand tighter

_Only a little bit longer, I promise I’ll let go just please let me have one last perfect day with Kuroo_

It took them thirty minutes to reach a comfortable spot on the mountain, they could only see a few stars due to the pollution but it was good enough for them. 

They talked for a while, Kenma even brought up their wedding that they both know wouldn’t happen.

“Kuro?”, Kenma softly asked

“Yes kitten,” Kuroo responded with still basking in the comfort of being there with his first love

\--

“Kuroo I want to tell you something”, Kenma said slowly 

“I know you’ve been cheating on me”, Kenma admitted “I’ve actually known for a while but I wanted to deny it”

Kuroo’s eyes snapped open staring at him with wide eyes 

‘Wai-”, Kuroo almost shouted

Kenma cut him off, “I still love you but I know you don’t love me anymore”

“Kenma listen to me I sti-”, Kuroo was now panicking.

“You don’t have to lie anymore”, Kenma said softly

Kuroo hadn’t noticed that while they were watching the stars Kenma had laced his shoes to a nearby root of a tree that went above the ground. Kuroo thought he just wanted to play with his shoes.

“Please take this money so that you can still pay rent. It’s the last of my money. I was going to use it for our wedding but we both know that won’t happen. Please take it”, Kenma tucked the money into his pocket with a small smile.

_I’m gonna let go of you now_

“Wait Kenm-” 

“Please take your ring as well. You might be able to sell it for more money.”, Kenma placed his ring on Kuroos pinky because his fingers were bigger than Kenmas.

With a wet face, Kenma kisses him one last time

“I love you so much, more than you know, but that’s why I have to let go of you now” 

And with that Kenma took off, running through the trees to the highest part of the mountain

He could hear Kuroo yell and strangle against the tree but he needed to do this, he promised he would let go.

He looked at Kuroo running fast to get to him, how he got off of that tree was beyond Kenmas understanding but he looked back at the city lights, 

He mouthed “I love you” and jumped off.

_His perfect reality shattered, he had let go_

_I will always love you Kuroo._

His love left him but he had no right to cry, it was his fault, Kuroo killed him

Kuroo watched as Kenmas body hit a rock, he watched as his body hit more rocks, he heard one last thump. 

\---

_Dear Kuroo,_

_I love you so much, from the day we met that one day when we were kids to my last day on earth I loved you. Kuroo you always were there for me to make me happy and I wish I could have been the one to make you happy but I can’t be that person anymore. I wish I could be the person you wait at the end of the aisle for, I wish I could grow old with you and adopt a cat with you, but I guess fate wasn’t on my side. If I had known you felt lonely I would have done something but I didn’t. The decline of our relationship was my fault, I just wanted you to not worry about the wedding expenses. I told you I only worked at the restaurant but that was a lie, every time I told you I went out with friends I would work, when you started to leave me I worked, I worked day and night to make our wedding become a reality. I wonder what it would have been like._

_From the day my eyes met yours I knew I would be with you forever, if only forever was long enough._

_I love you,_

_Kozume Kenma_

\--

I always wanted to be the one waiting at the end of the aisle for you but it looks like you beat me to it, just not in the way I expected it to be.

_“Kenma!”, Kuroo watched him hit his head, dead upon impact._

_Kuroo couldn’t do anything but stare at him._

_After the sounds of his past lover's body slamming among the rocks and trees ended, Kuroo was left with silence._

_He couldn’t process what had just happened._

_He couldn’t even call the emergency number, there would be no point, Kuroo watched him die._

_\--_

The funeral was small, just his teammates and Kenma’s friends.

Kuroo didn’t talk much and just let people pay their condolences to him and his late fiance.

Hinata cried and cried, he couldn’t stop, not even when Kageyama was there. He had watched his friend slowly kill himself and never noticed. 

After the funeral, Kuroo stayed behind. He went over to the casket and looked at him. His skin looked paler than before, his face caked with whatever could make him look human and alive again.

“I’m sorry Kenma, I’m so sorry”

“Remember when I proposed? We promised forever, I’m sorry I broke that promise. What if we had talked, would we be able to fix this? We could have grown old together, maybe with that cat you found at the cafe.”

Pulling out his vows he placed it inside of Kenmas casket tied in a scroll.

_Goodbye Kuroo, I finally let go_

_Goodbye Kenma, but I can’t let go_

_\--_

_Kozume Kenma_

_1996-2020_

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry this was so sad. However, cheating is unacceptable and is a shitty thing to do


End file.
